An Otaku X-mas: The Nine Days of X-mas
by Digital Sawa
Summary: X/CCS/Koko wa Greenwood/Dragon Half/Di Gi Charat/CCD/SM/GW/Slayers/Trigun/Project A-ko/AS/PSoH/FAKE/Perfect Blue/Bakuretsu Hunters/Vampire Hunter D/Key the Metal Idol/various fanfics


An Otaku X-mas: How Fuuma Finally Got Into Kamui's Pants  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own X, Cardcaptor Sakura, Koko wa Greenwood, Dragon Half, Di Gi Charat, CLAMP Campus Detectives, Sailor Moon, Gundam Wing, Slayers, Trigun, Project A-ko, Angel Sanctuary, Petshop of Horrors, FAKE, Perfect Blue, Bakuretsu Hunters, Vampire Hunter D, Key the Metal Idol, Voices Carry's own Handpuppet Theatre (http://kekkai.org/voices/HPT/puppet.html), The Laws of Anime (http://www.bright.com/~nyle/animelaws.html), Two Casts...One Stage...and It's the End of the World! (http://www.firecat.net/fanfics/xrocky/xrocky.html) or anything pertaining to anything else ever copyrighted in the history of mankind. You sue me and my partners in crime, you'll get more anime crap than you'll know what to do with.  
  
Author's Notes: This is the result of too much time at school. It gets a bit confusing after day nine or so. The Author(s) would like to formally apologize to anyone we mentally scar. We lost our minds a long time ago, why should we let you keep yours? There are some inside jokes in there we wanted to immortalize (what Marron says for day eight, so on) so just smile and nod, it's funny whether you know or not. If you want to know what the inside jokes were (and when the fanfic that Marron inside joke is from is coming) e-mail the Author. Without further ado, The Twelve Days of X-mas:  
  
***  
  
On the first day of Christmas my twin star gave to me the severed head of Kotori.  
  
Kotori's Disembodied Head: ...  
  
***  
  
On the second day of Christmas my twin star gave to me Phobos and Deimos and the severed head of Kotori.  
  
Rei: HEY!!  
  
Kotori's Disembodied Head: The *real* question is how will you wrap me...  
  
***  
  
On the third day of Christmas my twin star gave to me three CLAMP Detectives, Phobos and Deimos and the severed head of Kotori.  
  
Suoh: We're not objects you can just have your way with!  
  
Akira: We're not? o.o;  
  
Rei: Give me my birds back!  
  
Kamui: Who would want a decapitated head for Christmas?  
  
*Xellos energetically raises his hand* ^_^  
  
Kamui: O.o  
  
***  
  
On the fourth day of Christmas my twin star gave to me four oishii donuts, three CLAMP Detectives, Phobos and Deimos and the severed head of Kotori  
  
*Vash sidles up to the donuts and grins*  
  
Suoh: Don't just dismiss me like that!  
  
Rei: *sobs* You're going to eat them, aren't you?  
  
*Kotori's Disembodied Head scoots away from Xellos*  
  
***  
  
On the fifth day of Christmas my twin star gave to me five trillion D's, four oishii donuts, three CLAMP Detectives, Phobos and Deimos and the severed head of Kotori.  
  
D (Project A-ko): D isn't just a letter, it's a way of life! ^_^  
  
*Vash grabs a donut and shoves it in his mouth whole*  
  
*fangirls glomp, clothes disappear, insanity ensues*  
  
Rei: Phobos and Deimos don't taste good, I'd know!  
  
Xellos: Hey, donuts! I want one! ^_^  
  
***  
  
On the sixth day of Christmas my twin star gave to me six annoying repeats, five trillion D's, fou-...three oishii donuts, three CLAMP Detectives, Phobos and Deimos and the severed head of Kotori.  
  
Setsuna: Sara, do you have any pain?  
  
D (Vampire Hunter D): ...  
  
*Gourry nudges him with his elbow* Not exactly the talkative type, eh?  
  
D: ...  
  
Gourry: Eh heh heh...heh...*sweatdrop*  
  
Vash: Wai! Mine!! *grabs donuts away from Xellos*  
  
*fangirls run off carrying trophy pieces of clothing, leaving Suoh, Akira and Nokoru naked and disheveled in a pile on the floor*  
  
Nokoru: ...help...*passes out*  
  
Rei: Fine! Be that wa-...hey, donuts...*tackles Vash* Mine!! Give me them or eat fiery death!!  
  
Kamui: *glances around at the chaos all around him* How could things get any worse...  
  
Fuuma: HAH! Found you! Now I'm going to do horrible things to you for running away! *evil grin*  
  
Kamui: Eep.  
  
***  
  
On the seventh day of Christmas my twin star gave to me seven genki chibis, six annoying repeats, five trillion D's, three oishii donuts, three CLAMP Detectives, Phobos and Deimos and the severed head of Kotori.  
  
Puchiko san: Nyu! ^_^  
  
Fuuma: Kamui, I am your-...hey, I've got you in one hell of a provocative position...  
  
*Author cuts in* Dee, from FAKE, is much too busy doing all sorts of naughty things to Ryo in the green room. Moving along...  
  
*Xellos tackles Vash and grabs at the donuts*  
  
*Vash shoves another in his mouth and yells something unintelligible, spraying crumbs everywhere*  
  
*Rei steps over the mass of beat-up bishounen to get to the donut fight*  
  
Suoh: x_x  
  
Akira: x_x  
  
Nokoru: x_x  
  
*grope grope*  
  
Kamui: Fuuma, don't do tha-...oh...*Fuuma*...  
  
***  
  
On the eighth day of Christmas my twin star gave to me eight buffets for Lina, seven genki chibis, six annoying repeats, five trillion D's, thr- ...two oishii donuts, three CLAMP Detectives, Phobos and Deimos and the severed head of Kotori.  
  
Lina: I'm starving! ^_^ *inhales nearest plates piled high with food*  
  
Gourry: Hey, didn't you ever learn to share?  
  
Lina: No, and apparently *gestures to donut fight and then Fuuma* they didn't either.  
  
Mink: Dick Saucer! ^_^  
  
Minmarin: Excuse me, who are you? Excuse me, who are you? Excuse me, who are you?  
  
D (Petshop of Horrors): Won't you come in? I'm sure you will find something that interests you...  
  
*Lina's vacuum mouth has made it over to Vash, who jumps on him and tries to take the donuts away*  
  
Vash: Hey, don't grab there!  
  
Xellos: Was that you? Oh, sorry.  
  
*grab*  
  
Vash: Hey!!  
  
Nokoru: Where is my shirt?...  
  
Akira: Where are my boxers?...  
  
Marron: Gateau, where are my pants?  
  
Detectives: ...  
  
Marron: Oh, wrong fanfic...  
  
Rei: Hold on...feels like there's something I forgot about...  
  
*Fuuma takes a drag on his cigarette and grins at Kamui lecherously*  
  
Fuuma: Kamui, for a virgin, you're great in bed.  
  
Kamui: ...*thud*  
  
***  
  
On the ninth day of Christmas my twin star gave to me nine Gundam Wing kits, eight buffets for Lina, seven genki chibis, six annoying repeats, five trillion D's, two oishii donuts, three CLAMP Detectives, Phobos and Deimos and the severed head of Kotori.  
  
Quatre: Now I will destroy you, Heero! BWA HA HA HA HA!! OMAE O KOROSU!!!  
  
Quatre doing a high pitched mimic of Heero's voice: No, please! Help me, Duo! NOOOOO!!!  
  
*more evil laughter, followed by an explosion*  
  
Trowa: ...I didn't know plastic models could explode...  
  
Quatre: Law of Anime #11: Everything explodes. Everything. ^_^  
  
*Gourry joins Lina on the hunt for the two donuts* Yay, another adventure! I get to go rescue more little girls!  
  
Lina: BAKA!! *whack*  
  
Chibi Suka: Senpai! ^_^  
  
*feathers appear out of nowhere*  
  
Subaru: ...This seems to happen a lot...where the hell do they come from?  
  
Feather Joe: I am so in the mood for a beer.  
  
D (Key the Metal Idol): Just how many D's are there?! @_@  
  
*Author pokes head into fanfic* I don't know, I'm surprised we've gotten this far...  
  
*Author ushers Akira, Suoh and Nokoru offstage to get cleaned up/dressed, turns to audience with a bit of a grin from the free show and starts quoting a certain fanfic*  
  
"Is it Suoh yet?"  
  
"It's always been Suoh!" ^_^ *takes bow and resumes silence*  
  
Xellos, Lina, Gourry and Rei: Give us the donuts!!  
  
Vash: No! *shoves the two donuts down his pants*  
  
Xellos, Lina, Gourry and Rei: ...  
  
Vash: All mine! ^_^ *runs off* 


End file.
